The Day I Met You
by invaderzimlovr15
Summary: Frank has been on earth a little over a month when he and Columbia have a fight and Frank storms off to some bar where he meets someone who, to him, looks a little gay. Who is this guy and will they hit it off or not?


Frank sat in some Dorry's Tavern after having just gotten into a fight with Columbia. He really needed a drink. A couple of stools down he noticed a guy with a saxophone slung over his shoulder, a messy pompadour hairstyle, a leather vest that said baby on the back, a slingshot around his neck, and currently cradling a Budweiser. Frank decided that he didn't want to sit alone and moved to the seat next to him. "Nice sax." Frank said trying to start up a conversation.

"Thanks, his name's Buddy." He said taking a swig of beer.

"Buddy? Why Buddy?" Frank asked.

"After Buddy Holly."

"Oh, I see, I'm Dr. Frank-N-Furter."

"Eddie." He responded taking another drink.

"So Eddie, what brings you here?" Frank asked.

He shrugged. "Just riding on my motorcycle ad decided to stop in for a drink. What about you?"

"My girlfriend broke up with me."

"Bummer. Why's that?" asked Eddie.

"I may have cheated on her once, twice…ten times." Frank replied.

"Damn really?! How do you even have the sex drive for that?"

Frank shrugged. "Let's just say practice my dear Eddie."

Eddie looked shock. "Okay then. That must be a lot of fooling around."

"You should know, you don't look like the type to have a girlfriend."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Eddie exclaimed.

"you look like the type to be gay." Frank said putting it bluntly. He was not the type to beat around the bush or sugar coat things.

Eddie looked offended. "As a matter of fact, I'm straight."

Well then," Frank said as a sly smile spread across his face, "In less then a day I can make you my man."

Eddie scoffed. "You better buy me some hard-ass alcohol if I'm going to be screwing around with a transvestite." Frank nodded and ordered a whiskey for him.

As the night went on, so did the whiskeys and Eddie's willingness to experiment. Frank knew this when he felt Eddie grab his butt cheek. Frank smirked, "Well then, I think he's ready." all of a sudden and without warning Eddie started making out with him." Frank brought him back to the mansion, brought him up to his room, and they had sex.

The next morning Columbia walked into Frank's room. "Frankie, I wanted to say that I'm sor-" She cut herself off when she saw Frank and Eddie in bed together. "You Bastard! We're broken up for one day and your already sleeping with someone else?!"

Frank looked drowsily at her. "Wha?" He asked. He looked over and noticed he had slept with Eddie. "I really stepped in it this time didn't I?" Frank asked putting his face in hands. Columbia nodded and stormed out.

* * *

She went to her room and slammed the door. "I can't believe we've only been broken up for one fucking day and he's already sleeping with someone else!" She yelled to herself. "I mean doesn't he know by now that we're never broken up for more than a day or two before we get back together?!"

It was true. Her and Frank had these arguments many times before, both on Transylvania as well as on earth. It was always the same, Frank would cheat on Columbia and Columbia would get fed up and break up with him only to realize how much she loved and missed him and come back to him apologizing and they'd get back together. Columbia Punched the pillow on her bed hard and yelled in annoyance when a song popped into her head and she started to sing loudly.

"Cheater, cheater where'd you meet him down at Dorry's bar?

Did he smile your way, twirl his hair and say how cute your dimples are?

Did he use that line 'Your place or mine?' while you danced with him real slow?

Tell me cheater, cheater where'd you meet that no good, white trash hoe?

Liar, liar did you buy him whiskey all night long?

Did you hide your ring in the pocket of your jeans or did you just keep it on?

When the deed was done and you had your fun did you think I wouldn't know?

Tell me cheater, cheater where'd you meet that no good, white trash hoe?

Now I'm not one to judge someone that I ain't never met

But to lay your hands on a married man is 'bout as low as a guy can get (Frank, who heard her from the other room said, "I told you once, I told you twice, I told you a million times, we. are not. Married!)

Hey I wish him well as he rots in hell and you can tell him I said so

Cheater, cheater where'd you meet that no good white trash hoe?

Loser, loser hope you love him cause you're stuck with him now

Gonna get right up, load up all my stuff, and get the hell out of this house

But I just wish you'd tell me this one thing before I go

Cheater, cheater where'd you meet that no good, white trash hoe?

Now I'm not one to judge someone that I ain't never met

But to lay your hands on a married man is 'bout as low as a guy can get

Hey I wish him well as he rots in hell and you can tell him I said so

Cheater, cheater where'd you meet that no good white trash hoe?

Yeah I just wish you'd tell me this one thing before I go

Cheater, cheater where'd you meet that low down, up town, slept with everyone around, pressed on eyelash, no good, white trash hoe?"

She finished her song and thought of the perfect way to get back at Frank. There was a cute nurse down in Dentonvale by the name of Ricky. She figured if Frank could cheat then so could she and headed toward Denton.

* * *

Eddie woke up and looked at Frank, he was majorly hung over. "Damn, my head hurts like hell. What the fuck happened last night?"

"you fucked me." Frank informed.

Eddie ran a hand through his hair. "Oh Jesus Christ Almighty that's just great!"

"Oh come on Eddie admit it, you liked it didn't you?"

"NO!...yes?...maybe?...uh...Oh, I don't know!"

"I still think your gay." Frank said matter-of-factly.

Eddie completely blew up. "What, on god's green damn earth makes you think I look fucking Gay?!" he screamed

"Honey, you overdo too many things."

"Like what?" Eddie said folding his arms.

"You just look like your over compensating for something."

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Goodbye Dr. Frank-N-Furter." He said getting up and heading toward the door.

"I put my number in-" Frank was cut off by the slamming of his bedroom door.

Eddie was walking down the hall mumbling to himself, "Am I straight? Am I gay? Am I Bi? Who the hell knows, I know I'm not what Frank is." He suddenly bumped into Columbia. "Sorry." He mumbled to her as he kept on walking.

Columbia was automatically love-struck. "Oh no worries, where are you goin' in such a hurry?"

"I'm trying to get as far away from this mansion as humanly possible."

"your the one Frankie slept around with aren't ya?" Columbia asked. She took back everything she said about him during her song. She hoped him and Frank hadn't heard any of it.

"Yes, " Eddie answered, "Well, I'd love to stay and talk some more but right now I have a lot on my mind so if you'll excuse me."

"Ya know I have some unfinished business to attend to."

"Like what?" Eddie asked curiously.

"I want revenge on Frank."

Suddenly an idea came into Eddie's mind. He smiled at her. "I may have the perfect means of revenge for you."

"Oh yeah, What?" Columbia

"well I'm not sure whether I'm still straight or not and you want revenge so I say, let's do it let's have sex."

"Uh, ok. I mean I was going to go down to denton vale and screw that nice nurse, Ricky but your closer."

Eddie took a step toward her and said, "and closer."

Columbia did the same and said, "and closer." They did this until they met in the middle and started making out. they went up to Columbia's room and had sex.

A while later Frank came looking for Columbia and was shocked at what he saw. "what the hell is going on?!"

Columbia Smirked, "Sweet, sweet, sweet revenge. Did I forget a sweet?" she asked sarcastically.

Eddie, who was enjoying this just as much as Columbia said, "Yeah, and I'm straight."

"Sweetheart, if you were straight I'd have been able to hear you from the other room." Frank pointed out

"Well, who could ever love a transvestite." Eddie said

That pushed Frank over the edge. He went and got the shotgun off the living room wall and fired two warning shots into his head while Columbia screamed hysterically.

That night while Frank slept Columbia painted all the statues nails red as revenge for killing Eddie.


End file.
